The story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all. ~Frederick Buechner

TOWERS, DRAGONS, AND MOATS…OH MY!

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You know, most women have a desire deep down inside to be “found.” Whether it’s hide and seek as kids, twirling in circles in front of your daddy saying “daddy, watch me,” waiting to be asked to the prom, or waiting for that proposal . . . we want to be seen . . . we want to be pursued . . . we want to be found.

I believe that’s why the scripture says that when a man finds a woman he finds a good thing. “Finding” us means you looked for us. You sought for us. You cared. You pursued. You loved. THIS is natural and works well with the “hunter” mentality in most men. This becomes a problem however when dysfunction sets in.

After much hurt and loss and disappointment in life . . . that very legitimate need turns into a monster and becomes inflated and now that need is a void . . . an insatiable desire. . . a cup with a hole in the bottom. And not only does that need drive women to accept less, stay in bad relationships, and be miserable; it also chases good men away and/or requires them to slay a dragon, cross a moat, and climb a tower to “FIND” you.

Find becomes rescue and now you’re a victim instead of a prize. The problem for the woman in this sort of scenario is that she gives dysfunction free reign and everything has to bend around something that is unhealthy. It also spreads into other areas of her life. Being a woman who desires to be found is great. Being a woman who needs rescuing will be devastating. We must first and foremost seek our worth, value, and validation in Christ. He is the author and finisher of our faith and the lover of our souls.

Once we understand our identity in Christ and how lovingly he crafted us, calling us fearfully and wonderfully made, we can learn to look to him for that need to be met. He can heal those wounds and restore us to the naturally wonderful state of being “found” by him. We realize that he is already watching when we twirl and say, “Daddy, watch me!” We rejoice in the proposal he already made to us, calling us his bride. He delights in looking for us. . . seeking for us. . . finding us. For he loves us more than we can ever know.

Charlene Stephens

Special Projects Coordinator at Cornerstone Community Outreach
Charlene moved to Chicago from Georgia a couple years ago and is enjoying many adventures in community, schooling, fellowship, and travel! She's currently working on her MA in psychology/counseling while still working full time in the community. Check out her thoughts and adventures ranging from the humorous to the serious on her personal blog Hippie Christian Chick.

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